Don’t buy the gimmick of Happiness
I read something over the weekend that really resonated with me, and helped me understand why some of my peers and even my friends just smile and don’t engage in conversations about happiness.
Our society has been selling the Happiness as a Goal Gimmick for a while now. I guess I never really thought about it, because that’s now how I feel now, but upon reflection I realized that as a 20-something inching closer and closer to 30, I remember wondering when Happiness would surprise me, take me into it’s arms and rock me gently into my 30’s!
It doesn’t work that way, none of it works that way.
Having “Happiness” as a goal, is like having money as goal. It’s never going to be enough. You will never get to that point where you sit back and say, “Man, am I happy, I don’t think I need to do anything anymore to achieve happiness”. OK, You may say that, but how long does that feeling of happiness last, a day, a week, a year, 10 years. Eventually, without any action to create the result of Happiness, it fades.
Happiness is a result, not a goal. Happiness is the result of DOING, of ACTION, of DECISION.
You know I mentioned money…. and these two things are really similar for that same reason… YOU WILL NEVER have enough money. If Money is your goal, you will never have enough. You will always be trying to earn or get more, RATHER than understanding that money is a tool… like a wrench, it is required to build certain things, but it is not required for all things.
I need a hammer to build a chair, but once I have the chair, I don’t need the hammer to sit in it.
You see, the sitting in the chair is happiness. Everything else are just the tools and plans and steps required to get to where you are sitting in the chair.
If you start with the end in mind, you’ll find it easier to put together your plans.
If you want to build a chair, perhaps you need the wood, the saw, the hammer, the nails, (in my case, a handy man to do the work, while I watch and sip coffee ha ha ha ha). Seriously… the “I just want to be happy” lament, will only work on me once. You have the power within yourself to ask yourself the questions required to get to the real answer.
Don’t stop at the easy answers.
Don’t stop at the obvious answers.
Keep asking until you get to the current moment and you can see yourself and a ragged path back to the happiness you imagined.
For instance, your thoughts may be something like this:
What will make you happy?
so I could afford a house
So I could live with a garden and yard
Because I have always wanted a house of my own
I believe that owning a house means that I am a success
Do you see? The first answer was the easy answer, the one that is normally handed out at parties or conversations. The second answer is still practiced and probably only discussed with close friends or family. My point is, that to get to the root of your answer, you really need to challenge yourself and really THINK about what you normally thing.
In the end, the answer to the question what will make you feel happy, starts another series, doesn’t it. The true answer to the question, what will make you happy (in this example is) “A feeling of success”
Imagine. Your whole life you feel like your happiness it out of reach because you can’t imagine making enough money to pay for a house, because you have always thought… “I’ve made it when I get a house.” Now, Imagine how your life would change when you realize that your happiness doesn’t have anything to do with money or a house or a mortgage… but rather, has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.
Let me know if you want any help. ALSO, I’ve been putting together some workshops. If you’re interested copies of my free Life’s Purpose workshops, just sign up here.