…how do you listen?

Yesterday, the kids and I were going to meet friends to go to a

listen to your heart

Listen to your heart

concert in a park.  We took an interstate to our friends’ house and when I took our exit, I saw a young man standing on the grassy shoulder between the road and the concrete of the highway rising up past him.  He appeared clean-cut and somewhere in his late teens or early twenties.   He stood with a backpack at his feet.  He held a sign that read: “TRAVELING, NO FOOD NO MONEY HUNGRY”

I thought about what I had to give.  I remembered I had $21.00 in my purse, $20.00 I specifically took out for the day.

I thought, “I don’t want to give him $1.00 because that won’t feed him,” I immediately concluded, “I’ll give him $20.00”

“I don’t want to give him $20.00 that’s all I have right now”, my brain replied indignantly to me… to my thoughts… to that small voice, that angel on my shoulder.  My brain practically shouted at me, “That’s all I have”.

Than, as quickly as the “that’s all I have” thought occurred it vanished and was replaced with flashes of everything that I have from the bucket of fried chicken in the cooler to the three healthy children buckled into the bucket seats in my new minivan……and I thought and felt again, “give it to him”.

So, I grabbed my purse and pulled up to him.  I handed him the $20.00, I looked up at him and he looked so tired I could have cried. The light turned green, I rolled forward and drove away.

That all happened in 4-5 seconds.  I was driving 60 mph on the interstate.   I pull off onto a ramp.  I see the red light.  I see a human holding a sign. I am slowing the car down, I read the sign. I have my thought process, soon enough to grab my purse, pull towards the young man, hand him the money, and then drive away.

Here’s what I know.

It’s important to listen.

Understand why you are arguing with yourself.  Understand why you’re even having that internal conversation.  Are you trying to convince yourself that you have enough… or convince yourself that you don’t have enough?

I’m writing about this today, because this time last year I had a completely different perspective.  This time last year I had the “I don’t have enough to share” perspective and what I have found is that thinking like that fills your life with sparseness, and lack and really honestly NOT HAVING ENOUGH.

For those of you that know, you know that last September I had an epiphany and started the 10 month trek that has brought me to this point.  This point with these great moments of experiencing abundance and happiness and sheer joy.

You are what you think.

It’s the stingy thoughts… that create a stingy life.

I didn’t drive away patting myself on the back for my “unselfish and kind act” or hoping that he used the money as I had intended, instead I hoped the young man would find what he was looking for and I hoped that the $20.00 would help him in any way possible. I felt content that I could share and moved on to thinking about the day ahead.

As it turns out…

Not long after handing over my $20.00 someone unexpectedly handed me $80.00.   Long story short, this person found the money at the grocery store and the store management wouldn’t allow him to hand it in to the lost & found and after several levels of management that all said he had to keep it, he decided to give it to me to buy the girls ice cream and treats at the concert in the park.

As you can imagine, we all had ice cream at the park, and hot dogs and fried chicken and fried oreos!  It was quite a party.

Have an amazing day.

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