…. on letting go …
Right now I’m listening to The Think Big Manifesto, by Michael Port, on audible.
As a little side note: I really enjoy listening to Michael Port. And if you’re having any challenges or need any assistance booking clients, you should run, (not walk) out and get
“Book Yourself Solid“… now.
Back to the Think Big Manifesto.
The piece of content that really resonated with me spoke about small thinkers. Small thinkers are scared. Small thinkers are those people who laugh when you talk to them about your big idea and treat it like it’s ridiculous. Or treat it like “your latest and greatest idea that is doomed to fail”. They laugh and say things like, “HA HA HA How are you going to do that?” or “Oh, that’s been done before, it will never work” or “You try something new every 6 months when are you going to learn”
Everyone has those people in their lives. You LOVE THEM, they are your best friends, or sisters/brothers or parents… they have stuck with you through thick or thin, they appear to be encouraging… or to have your “best interests” at heart. And they believe that they do.
The fact is, you are not imagining the eye roll, or the tone of voice, or the specifically negative choice of words, or the targeted questions designed to remind you of your failures.
These people are small thinkers. They do not see the same possibilities you see. They believe they are doing you a favor by keeping your head out of the clouds. Some may believe it’s their purpose to pick apart every idea and to tell you why it won’t work, and they tell themselves it’s because they don’t want to see you get hurt. The truth is, they don’t want to see you think big. It scares them.
Maybe they don’t know it, but it’s true. Your idea. Your vision that will change your life and bring to you the most abundant and happy and free existence, scares them. And, as a result, they can’t help but, in the most lovely way, try to swat it away….try to tell you why you should stay the same… the same as them….thinking small.
So, what do you do.
Let go of your need for their approval.
Look at that sentence again: Let go of your need for their approval. I didn’t say, let go of the need for their approval… it’s your need. You are creating the situation that causes you to take to heart the little dismissals, or negative comments, or gestures or laughter.
Sometimes, in order to let go of that need… you need to let go of that person. It seems harsh, but you need to distance yourself from the small thinking that always tries to keep you down. Seek out, talk and surround yourself with ideas and possibilities and wonderful creative big thinking people.
I’ve chosen to keep most of my small thinking friends in my life, however I don’t discuss ideas with them. I no longer talk about possibilities or my goals, or my vision or my recent steps… successes… set-backs… or moments of joy. Truth be told, there are plenty of other things to talk about. I’m not sharing that aspect of my life with them anymore.
THEY SIMPLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
They don’t hear what I think I’m saying, they hear something completely different and they absolutely do NOT see the possibilities. If they did… they would be able to collaborate. That’s the key to a big thinker. They hear what you say… they see the possibilities and take it and run. They don’t spend any time telling you why it won’t work. If they think it won’t work, they immediately set out to figure out how it could work.
So, what do you do when your small thinking friends ask for an update? Tell them the truth. ”Everything is going great!” “You are excited and love what you do.” “You are getting closer and closer to your goals.” Keep it positive.
When they ask specific questions based on information that you had previously shared (before cutting them off of the big thinking parts of your life) Stay positive. Give them very positive replies like, “I’m on target, I’m so excited, things are really going great!”
The reason I urge you to keep it positive is because even with every day conversation, you should be concentrating on the “take away”. The one major idea that the other person is going to walk away thinking or considering and most importantly… remembering. AND don’t forget that YOU are listening to YOU. You also believe what you are saying and have a “take away”.
Each person understands and hears different things in any given conversation. Sometimes people latch onto words or comments that really have NOTHING to do with what you were trying to say, but it’s what they heard… it’s something they are comfortable they understand… and they hold onto that. (My kids do that all the time… I am constantly asking them: “What did you hear me say?” ha ha)
So, if you say, “I’ve changed direction because the vitamins weren’t selling and now I’m concentrating on a specific skin care regimen that is turning out to be very popular.” They may only hear, “selling vitamins didn’t work”. However, if you say, “I’m on target to reach my goals for the year”… there’s not much they can misunderstand. I actually have a friend that I believe thinks she’s doing me a favor by “drilling down” until she gets a negative… and I credit her with my epiphany and new policy of “always having something positive to say about my business”.
It’s no secret that I firmly believe you are what you think.
Having someone interrogate you until you get to the point where you admit or agree that some aspect of that thing that you love to do isn’t as good as you “feel” it is.. doesn’t feel nice and saying it out loud is like saying it to yourself. It’s believing it. Simple little things plant the seeds of doubt. Those seeds prompt the questions such as; “Can I really do this?” or ”Can I make a difference” or “What if they are right?”
Let go of the small thinkers.
Prepare for their questions, and conversations and be positive and awesomely creatively wonderfully you!
Make Today Amazing!
- The Compulsive Thinker (therealsebastianjimenez.wordpress.com)
- The Think Big Manifesto: A Podcast with Michael Port (lipsticking.com)
- Micromanagement, the Killer of Innovation! (fromworkbootstocorporatesuits.com)
- Zen Habits: Letting Go of Negativity (alicia-prague-blog.com)
- Improve Your Game With Self-Talk (derekmmosher.com)
- Trusting Your Intuition: When To Listen To Your Gut — And When Not To (huffingtonpost.com)