That point when you realize … you are making a excuses…
Success means a lot of things to a lot of people. I have an on going conversation with a friend about the meaning of success. In all areas I keep coming back to that 5 letter word… that dirty word that is only uttered in private… MONEY.
Here’s my point. Success is not all about MONEY, in fact, in my opinion money is a tool, not the end. So, when we discuss our ideas of success, like raising our children properly, providing education, living comfortably, helping our community… all of those things are easier to achieve… with money.
You know, I can do a lot more charity work if I am not working 60 hours a week to make ends meet. I can donate more money if I have it.
It’s no secret that many people are a slave to money and live to work… rather than work to live. I won’t pretend that there aren’t days when I feel that way, but the honest truth is… these people that are working just to pay their bills have just as much opportunity as a Kennedy for being financially free… (ha ha ha I can hear you laughing as you think about how your paycheck dwindles after you pay all your bills, then you imagine the wealth of the Kennedy family) I said that everyone has the same opportunity… I didn’t say it was going to be easy. 🙂
Listen. The biggest thing holding us back… are our excuses… the reasons why we convince ourselves that we don’t have those opportunities and we never get off our couch.
My excuse? I have a million. I just needed to make my reason WHY stronger than my excuses. I needed to make my success story so strong in my head that A) It is so real that not only do I think it’s possible, but I believe it is almost true and B) I recognize my excuses.
That’s the thing that my friend and I sometimes discuss…heatedly… ok, we might argue. His ideas of success are similar to mine… raise his kids, don’t harm the planet, live comfortably….with a caveat… “as best as he can”. AND that, is what I think is his excuse. It seems like the “as best as I can” phrase is him giving himself permission for status quo, while I’ve really got a dream in my head.
You see, I don’t believe that money is bad or a bad word and I believe that if I work hard and work smart than I can be financially free. That I will be able to provide a great education for my kids, I’m not talking about a Harvard education… I’m talking about things like a cross country road trips. I’m talking about going apple picking and seeing things in our country outside the limited venue of our state. I can’t do that if I can’t afford the gas, or the time off work.
Recently another friend of mine, (I love her dearly) told me that she’s waiting for someone else to make up their mind so that she can get on with their life.
THAT is very frustrating for me. I feel like, yelling, “GO!”… Get started… Start walking… Make plans… and let that other person catch up. (sigh)
She has a million reasons (aka excuses) for waiting. It’s hard. I get it. Many times it’s easier to do nothing than it is to do something… but by doing nothing … you have made a decision.
Our lives are built on our decisions. There are really two kinds… Deciding to do something, and deciding to do nothing.
Too many people treat life like a river, floating haphazardly down the river that is sometimes lazy and sometimes raging… they fight off the rapids, and rocks and relax in the sunny calm… these people have decided to allow their environment and circumstances to shape their life.
It’s frustrating for me as I stand on the edge of the river and I say… “Hey, I think I see your dream over there!”… “I think if you paddle really hard, you will reach that side over there… then with a little hike you can get on the path to your dream!” and she yells back, “No thanks, I’ll wait for so and so to save me… ”
One more point about excuses… and than I’m done for today.
Everyone can change. There are no excuses, sometimes it just isn’t the easiest thing to do. Here are (2) things about change that everyone should know.
#1) Change can happen in a second. Change is easy, change is quick, regardless of what society would have you think… Change happens in a second. Think about it… it’s not change that takes a long time, but getting prepared for change. It’s the excuses, the reasons, the delays, the other people…whatever it is we tell ourselves, why we aren’t doing it right now… but change happens instantly.
#2) You are responsible for your own change, not anyone else. See yourself as the source of the change. No one else can be the agent of change for you, you must be in charge. If you don’t believe this… then you will always be looking for someone else to be the reason or to help you make the change and as a result you will always have someone else to blame when it doesn’t work out.
“It’s not the condition of your life that determines your destiny, it’s your decisions. Using the power of decision gives your the capacity to get past any excuses and to finally change any and every part of your life in an instant. ” ~ Anthony Robbins from Awaken the Giant Within